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Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

I may be a schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.